Last time I mentioned I had several WIPs scattered about and that I hadn’t knit anything in a year.  I grew curious as to how many WIPs I had and did a quick gather and count.  I am getting 10 items altogether

SSK project    completed Jan

retro prep  completed Feb

fair isle was supposed to be a test knit

and a EPS sweater

vogue lace pullover

shawl from GOL

another shawl

Sirdal

another SSK

and yet another shawl

keep in mind I have only completed two sweaters for myself in all the years I have been knitting as an adult {I don’t remember my teen years but my sister swears I wore a tank I knitted}  That is a whopping 27 yrs of knitting with no sweaters to show for it.  Note I have  5 sweaters up there.  Retro Prep was at yoke and is now in wash waiting blocking then seaming and collar.  I already no longer fit into it having gained weight.  The Vogue lace pullover just needed seaming but will probably be ripped {mohair! black! black mohair!} and reknit into something entirely different.  Again much weight gain since I started that one 6 or so years ago.  Sirdal was started when I was still with the ex.  8 yrs. old at least.  The EPS is from 4 yrs ago and Retro Prep is 2 yrs old.  The EPS just needs to have a hem added.  I wonder why I don’t knit myself any sweaters.  Or why, when I do knit them, I stall at the last steps.  I know none of them fit anymore and I know that they therefore don’t look good when I pull them over my head so … is it a body image thing?  I mean do I not like them on me because I don’t look like the svelte models and they fall flat on the fantasy knit wearing bit?  Don’t know.  What I do know is I am finishing my Retro Prep and although I wish it had a V neck to cut my ample bosom I will wear it.  And I am, like many during this time of year, dieting so that it fits better.

I am curious as to if knitting and completing sweaters that don’t fit me is more depressing than never finishing them at all.

Speaking of dieting~ I had a friend get very critical about the notion.  She feels it is stereotypical for NYeve’s resolution and that people would be well served to aim for better health.  Fine and dandy.  My retort was that it would be disingenuous for somebody my size to claim weight loss had nothing to do with better health.  This is not fat shaming.  This is years and years of depression, eating my emotions, and real physical limitations requiring surgery along chemical imbalance~ I have a dying thyroid and that affects mood, energy and all that good stuff.  I am not making excuses for gaining weight just putting it out there that I have been steadily gaining weight for years and that I am tired of being tired all the time.  Hopefully I will keep it up for more than a month or two.